Once upon a November first,
I woke up hungover in the back of a hearse.
Smashed pumpkins lined the streets, toilet paper ghosts taking to the air,
The pounding of my head filling me with despair.
To the store I would go! Some Ibuprofen to procure.
My headache will cease, another day I can endure.
On my way to the store in the bright lights of the fall.
I thought of my family, awaiting Thanksgiving’s call.
We would fill our table with the makings of feast.
Being thankful that we had food in the least.
But, what to my wandering eyes did appear!
BB & S-mart was filled to the brim with Christmas Cheer!
See, every boy and every girl in the city beneath liked Thanksgiving a lot.
But BB & S-mart, who could only see profits did not!
The store had vomited forth the whole Holiday season
Now please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason.
Perhaps it’s that CEO’s assholes are too tight.
Perhaps it is fear of being chased by the right.
So they've put out the lights and are blasting the carols.
You can save now on sweaters for mom and uncle Darol.
I picked up my needs and tried to leave the store.
But they asked about layaway, for the holidays they emplore!
They jingle with savings, they hustle with holly.
My head is exploding, I am less than Jolly.
I paid for my stuff, so glad to be leaving.
When from out of the employees mouth came a Christmas greeting.
So looking at the cashier my heart filled with rage.
I stood on the counter and used it as a stage.
To proclaim my message for all to hear:
“Fuck you, It’s November! Calm Down.” By Ezekiel Conrad
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